The Lighter Side Of Divorce

     One of the beautiful things about divorce is that you don't have to put up with shithead in law's anymore. All the restraints you've languished under all those years are now removed, and you can speak freely. I've found that since my last divorce, wait a minute. . .Charsa, Barbara, Mary, no not her, I forgot to divorce her, Brenda, and finally Pamela, I think Pam's family took the cake. Oh damn! I got them out of sequence, make Brenda number two. 

     I can honestly say that most of my many I laws and I got along, but then, I wasn't around long enough for them to know me. But I had over twenty-five years to get to know ALL of Pam's family, and the one word I can apply is consistent. Her mother became a widow early in my marriage to her daughter. Now, I'd like to mix in two ingredients here. These folks are from Arkansas, and they are Mormon. Already funny, huh. 

     Starting with "Mom," every conversation was an effort to convert me. Now I'm not going into a rant about their faith, but I will say that every encounter you have with a Mormon in law is, well, MORMON. And there is no winning. You give up on that from the beginning. In fact, even trying to placate them, and agree, giving them insight doesn't work either. They march to their own drummer and unless you are in the fold you simply cannot succeed. Now I must add that when "Mom" became a widow she quickly married a man who was devout Roman Catholic, whereupon she had a vision, and  converted. 

     And she was the holiest of holies. After observing her conversion I stopped going to mass. When Pam and I divorced I spoke to her one time and God has granted me the grace of never hearing her voice again. That was preferred over Pam's younger brother. 

     This guy was a motor mouth on jet fuel. He would launch into a speech at any get together, and it was always about how great he was, and about his Mormon faith. If u could put him in a category it would be, "clueless." I actually debated this guy but eventually gave it up when I realized I was dancing with myself. His wife's constant ejaculation on opinion gave me ideas for many funny articles and videos. One such idea was telling me I was going to jail for showing a picture of marijuana in a joke video. When caught in such a stupid attack he would then turn aggressive and threaten punishment on everyone in the state of Texas. I think he's the one I enjoy being away from the most. Every now and then I will hear something he has said or done, and I get this warm fuzzy. Now he's dancing with himself. 

     And let's not forget little sister. I think I was supposed to marry her, or at least have a relationship with her to make babies for the clan. Now, when I married Pam this girl was hot, hot, hot, and at the time I didn't see any viable reason to talk their religion down, if you get my drift. Never panned out, however, because she was also crazy, crazy, crazy. Got her drunk one time, but that's another story. 

     Anyway, I'm free of all these people. Sometimes I actually miss them, but I've found a six pack and Frenchi generally cures those momentary lapses of lucidity. If I ever get married again she will have to be an orphan, with a total loss of memory.   Pictures of Marijuana